Breaking through the bully
myths (answer sheet)*
1.
Bullying is mostly a male behavior.
False – girls bully too, though they do it in
different ways. Boys tend to use
physical threats; girls more often use social isolation or rumors.
2.
Once a bully always a bully.
True,
perhaps. While
the last word on this debate has not yet been written, we are seeing that
Bullies tend to carry their bullying behavior long into adulthood.
3.
Bullies come from families representing all socioeconomic
levels. True
– this is
not a bad side/good side of the tracks phenomenon.
4.
Bullies have average grades in school.
True.
5.
You can spot bullies because they are agitated and aggressive.
False
– in fact
it’s just the opposite. While the
normal reaction in a dramatic confrontation would be flight or flight—and all
that accompanies that, such as elevated pulse, and clenched jaws—bullies are
usually cool characters. If you see
normal agitation in a altercation between students, think conflict resolution;
if you see one student upset and the other with a cool and detached smile, think
bully/victim.
6.
Fighting back against a bully will not stop the behavior.
True
– Okay,
there are a few isolated incidents where a victim punched a bully right in the
face and the bully never bothered him again.
A few.
Far more common, though is the victim loosing the fight because bullies
chooses passive victims to pick on. Besides,
even if the bully leaves this student alone, the bully is still a bully and will
just find a new victim.
7.
Most bullying happens at school.
True
– it is where students spend most of their time.
8.
Bullies are insecure and have low self-esteem.
False
– the research on this is clear: these children like
who they are and are proud of what they do.
These kids score average to slightly-above average on self-esteem
measures. The behavior is not a
cover-up for personal baggage.
9.
You change a bully’s behavior by focusing on what happens at
home. False
– you hold
her accountable for her behavior in which ever realm you work in.
Bus drivers hold them accountable on the bus; teachers in the classroom;
parents at home.
10.
Bullies are not physically larger than their victims.
True.
11.
Targets of bullies are usually kids with physical differences
(overweight, red hair, etc.). False – The
two traits that most correlate with being a victim are social isolation and
passivity. Bullies are looking for
kids who don’t have friend to back them up and who won’t fight back.
12.
Most bullying involves physical aggression.
False
– threat of it, but it’s not usually carried out.
13.
Bullies don’t need therapy in order to stop bullying.
True
– Consequences and other behavioral interventions
show more successful outcomes.
14.
Bringing together the parents of the victim and the parents of
the bully does not help. True
– it
typically doesn’t work. Parents of
victims want remorse and apologies; instead, they get justification, accusation,
or even outright encouragement of the bullying behavior by the bully’s
parents.
15.
Other children should stay removed from the bully/victim
conflict or they’ll get bullied as well. False – the
silent majority are our great hope. We
need them to stand up and speak up.
